Light pierced through the window, welcoming me to a new day on this wretched earth. I suppose I should be grateful for all the new experiences that come to me.
It was almost time for school again. This time, I’d surprise them. No more with the slutty schoolgirl outfit. This time, no one would be able to hate me. I’d be way too cute and lovable. I couldn’t wait to see their faces!
In my newest fit, I set out, before Kaos even woke. Down the stairs, down the road, and right into the belly of the beast.
Today was my day to shine!
My new Lamby costume was in full initiation. My final form? Possibly! Horns? Check! Glossy glass eyes? Check! 10 whole centimeters thick of fluff??? Check! I flaunted my way through the school labyrinth with total swagger.
The inside of this thing was so warm and cozy. I couldn’t believe it. The Lamby fit was an eternal blanket, softening my soul. I was a Lamby now! Plush coated nearly every ounce of my skin.
My smug faded when I heard the first laugh. Looking left and right, I was surrounded by vicious hyenas of the student body. They all pointed and commented, flailing in hysterics.
A voice called out, “That’s the girl who got kicked out!”
Another said, “Dude! She’s a sheep!”
Shivers crept up my spine. I froze there, like a deer. For the first time, I felt hatred towards my parents. They were the ones who sheltered me, kept me in the dark about human behavior. Kaos had saved me, but the damage was already done. I was already dumb. I knew it wasn’t that simple. That they made their best choices. But somehow, it hurt less to feel this rage inside. As if they deserved it. As if the trajectory of my life was as good as it gets. And maybe that was true.
To my relief and rescue, Rei waved from a distance and ran up to me, “Hey! I see you’re pulling another stunt today! Seriously, your bravery is hot.”
I blushed and smiled, “Oh, hey Rei!” Shaking, I grabbed his arm, “Save me! I’m surrounded by wolves!”
The red in his cheeks intensified, “Yea, yea, come this way.” He led me away from dismay.
We both hid around the corner of another building. We weren’t truly out of sight but it was fun to pretend.
I whispered like we were hiding, “Hey. I’m planning on seeing the pink plants tonight. Will you come?”
He answered, “Pink plants? Uh… sure. Where?”
I pointed at the clock tower, “Let’s meet there. I’ve got the way memorized already. I saw it from the sky!”
“Oh! How??” he asked.
I smiled, “That’s my secret! So, what do you say?”
He smiled back, “Yeah. I’ll be here.”
“Thanks! Come around 6:00 PM!” I ran off to find the calculus class.
After retracing some footsteps, I found the class, but my anxiety locked me out of the room. I was already late again. They’d pounce again if I entered in this Lamby fit. A bunch of wolves. Fuck ’em. A single tear escaped my eye before I shook it off. Not here. Not now. Not like that.
I sat outside and whipped out the taffy. After a couple of pieces, that got boring, so I started sucking a lollipop. My mouth squirmed and salivated. Sour pink lemonade! So delicious. Not soft, but squeaky and zippy. Resting my head against the wall was no problem with this pillowy suit. I could practically sleep here.
An odd group of individuals approached me.
Their styles were different from all the others. Their ponytailed pink-haired girl, front and center, decorated herself with a checkerboard skirt, black and red. Her jacket was teal and pink. Her shirt was basic and black.
Their side man was deep navy-mohawked and dark skinned. He was best described as a monocle punk. Tight jeans vast across his long legs, a cool jacket of black and orange coated his white shirt. And of course, his fabulous monocle.
Lastly, a man in a black and white hoody, with tight shredded pants. Teal hair draped his face and his smile boasted an intense charm.
The pink-haired girl went first, “Wow your Lamby fit’s snazzy!” She kneeled down and touched my fit.
My eyes lit up, “You know Lambies?!”
She replied, “Yeah girl!”
My eyes went full Lamby, “Can we be friends??”
“Oh, sure? My name’s Cass!”
The blue-haired guy stepped up next, “She’s our hothead and our leader! Me? I’m Jesse! I play support. The cheerleader, if you will. I’ll have your back!” He winked.
Lastly, the navy-mohawked guy came forth, “And I’m Axel. Your willingness to break norms fascinates me, so I’d be glad to be your friend.”
Cass got up and poked Axel with her elbow, “He’s sometimes too humble, but he’s our strategist and analyst.”
Axel replied, “Oh come on.”
They all moved into formation. Mostly Cass and Jesse positioned themselves next to an unmoving Axel.
Cass went on, “Together,”
Jesse and Cass said in synchrony, “We are… the rebellion!“
Axel finished, “Yup, that’s what they say.”
Starry-eyed, I exclaimed, “Wowowow!! So cool!”
They laughed.
Axel asked, “What’s your name, Lamby girl?”
I smiled excitedly, “I’m Lily!”
Cass squatted down and got close up, “So whatcha up to??”
I pulled out the taffy, “Here! It’s cinnamon roll!”
All of them looked surprised and tried it.
“Oooo,” they said in unison.
Axel commented, “That’s really good. Thanks Lily!”
“Yeah, thanks!” Cass said.
Jesse rushed up and petted my head, “Such a good girl!! So soft, oh my snap!”
I confessed to my sins, “I’m skipping class because I’m scared of the teacher and the shitty mean students.”
“Aww. Is it that bad?”
“Yeah.”
Axel warned, “Don’t skip too much, you’ll get left behind.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.”
Jesse reassured, “What?! No way!! Your cool, even if you skip! We skip sometimes too you know?”
“Come see the pink plants with me later!” I demanded.
Jesse asked, “Pink plants?”
I explained, “Yeah! There’s a magical place with pink plants. Meet here at 6:00 PM and I’ll take us there.”
Jesse replied, “Uh… sure.”
Cass excitedly said, “Yeah, I’m down!”
Axel asked, “Where are these pink plants?”
I replied, “At the outer edge of the city. Don’t worry, I got it memorized.”
Axel’s arms crossed in a stance of guarded curiosity, “I see. I suppose this could be interesting. I’m in.”
I got up and jumped, “Yay!” I waved and headed out, “Baa! I’m off to prepare for our adventure!”
They waved bye.
I crashed into Nita. “Oh, hey! I’m on my way out, but can you meet back here at 6:00 PM?”
“Sure! What’s going on? You weren’t in Calculus today.” She looked concerned.
I faced the ground, “I’m still scared. They were so mean in there.”
She hugged me, “Yeah. I get it. You’ve gone through a lot. So, I’m not judgin’.”
I pulled back and looked her in the eyes, “I’ll teach you calculus, no matter what. I just need a bit.”
She smiled, “Alright! No pressure! You said you want me to meet up at 6:00?”
“Yeah! I’m inviting friends. It’s going to be a big thing! Don’t forget please!”
“Yeah, yeah. Of course, I won’t! I’ll see you then?”
“Yep. See you then!” I continued my escape from that spooky place.
I’ve made so many friends now. It was really happening. Though, I’d been bad. I’d hardly attended any classes. That wasn’t really the point though, right? It was time to celebrate the win with some food!
I headed to that shopping street where the cinnamon roll place was. On my way, eerie auras scoped me out from high above, in the metal canopy of skyscrapers. The chilling feeling that I was being stalked intensified. Wolves. Aeons. They were after me. I rushed through, nearly running, almost tripping and falling, but finally I got to the safe zone where the vendors were.
I started window shopping those delicious colorful mysteries. I had no idea what any of this was, but one in particular stuck out. Some sort of stick with bits on it. I stood in line, patiently waiting my turn. The aroma was spicy this time. A very savory smell.
The man at the front asked, “What’ll you have?”
“Uh…” I frantically looked at the poster of pictures and pointed at one of the stick thingies, “That one!”
“A kebab? Just one?” he asked.
“Yea!” I smiled.
“Coming right up!”
I stood to the side and passed the time by pacing. My excitement for tonight was raging. We’d be living out that Lambies dream. We finally made it. I’d come in my fuzzy cocoon, all warm and ready, feeling that crisp night air on my face, as we run through the pink plant place. It was perfect!
The guy called Kaos’ name. It must have something to do with the device. I grabbed the stick thing and started chowing immediately. It was hot, melty, a little thick and chewy, but still juicy, fragrant with strange spices I’d never known.
I asked the man at the front, “What is this stuff?”
“Kebab. Lamb kebab!” he answered.
A rush of dysphoria tangled me up, spun my mood around. It hurt, like a punch to the gut. Pretty much literally.
I asked, “Lamb? Like… the animal??”
The man laughed and pointed at my Lamby fit, “Yeah, like your costume!”
For a second, I just stared at him in shock, eyes wide and tears drizzling down my cheeks. But then, I was possessed by another emotion. I threw the fucking kebab at his face, almost impaling him with it. I yelled, “Fuck you, stupid wolf!”
The man looked scared and sad. Gasps arose from everyone in line.
One man yelled, “Hey! What’s your problem!?”
“Ugh!!” I stormed off, stomping first, then sprinting next.
I was so embarrassed but fuck that guy. Who the hell sells dead Lamby flesh?? Gross.
I made it back to the apartment. It was empty again. No Kaos. My stomach growled. Inside, there was a poor piece of Lamby. Chills crashed through my body. Tears demanded out. The bed called to me. I’d need to recover before meeting up with everyone.
The thought of the Lamby crawling inside me kept gnawing, clawing, desperately trying to escape the prison I put it in. Whenever the thought got too intense, my body shuddered and I closed my eyes, trying to forget.
I slammed my fist against the bed and screamed into the sheets.
It spun in my head on loop: humans suck, humans suck, humans suck.
There was one hope. It was time to watch Lambies and forget about all this shit. I set up all the friends and held them closer this time, for protection.
It began. The television glowed with lights and shapes, my most favorite ones. As I immersed into the other side, I chewed up more taffy to wash out the horrors of before. First five, then ten. So much candy that I felt kind of dizzy.
After a while, the show got freaky.
Papa Lamby was pacing around. “Upon further investigation, we have come to the realization that the wolf is not only among us, but the wolf does not even know itself to be a wolf. That means it could be any of us. It could be me or it could be you,” Papa Lamby pointed directly at me, breaking the fourth wall.
I shriveled and shivered and ripped off the Lamby costume, hurling it to the other side of the bed. The frozen air singed my skin. Somehow, that intensified the fear. My heart raced. First, I paced, then I turned off the TV and just sat in the cold, hugging my knees for comfort.
I walked out into the lone living room and checked the time. 5:06 PM.
Staring at the Lamby fit I left on the bed, I shrugged, “Time to be a slut again, I guess.” I buttoned up one of the untried schoolgirl blouses and fashioned on the new skirt, black this time.
My stomach growled. Ugh. I looked towards the fridge. Still locked. I yanked its door anyways. I’m not allowed to be okay.
I trekked to school early. I’d just hang around until others showed up. The walk felt weird again. I sensed auras all over, even more than before. Was I being hunted?? I decided to run again. Dizziness almost got to me.
Upon arriving, the Rebellion was already there. They were propped up on some wall, shrouded in a smoke, getting prepared. As I got closer, I noticed they each had some kind of stick in their mouths. The source of that mysterious cloud.
I became curious, “Oooo! What are those??”
Cass turned to me, “Oh! Lily! You’re already here! Awesome!”
“Yeah. I came early. I got stressed out. I don’t want to be alone right now,” I shyly replied.
Jesse took a huff off one of the weird sticks, “Aww. Why the stress?”
With my eyes closed, I shook my head. “Just so much. I don’t even want to think about it.”
Jesse suggested, “You should try some of this.” He held up the stick from his mouth, presenting it like some holy item.
Cass excitedly said, “Yeah! Look, I’ll show you.”
Nervously, I accepted, “Ok. What is it?”
Cass gently placed the stick between my lips, “Now, inhale slowly. It’ll feel all wiggly in your chest, but don’t trip. It’ll be cool.”
I followed her instructions, inhaling the fire and puff from the stick. It tickled the whole way down. More than tickled, it burned. Immediately, I started coughing violently. I demanded to know, “What the hell is it??”
Axel answered, “Zaza. A flower containing a special drug. It can only be obtained outside of Hedo. Almost no one here knows about it.”
“Zaza…” I muttered slowly.
A rushing sensation entered my body. It felt like I was moving or gravity had shifted. Every few seconds, my vision would twist and jolt back into place.
I hugged myself in a panic, “Is this poison?? Did you poison me?? Am I going to die?!”
They all laughed.
Cass said, “Chill! You’ll be fine! Just wait a bit. You’ll see. I promise.” She winked.
Jesse reassured me, “You got this. It’s rough the first go, but trust me. I wouldn’t let you die.”
Axel said, “I’m not sure that it’s possible to die on this stuff. I’ve never heard of such a case. Certainly not off such a small amount like you’ve taken.”
Their words were relieving somewhat. But I was still scared. Though, the fear didn’t last long. It was replaced by an all-encompassing warmth. Everything felt like pillows. The floor slithered around. Colors were glowing brighter. I turned to look at Jesse and my field of view lagged behind. I giggled.
Jesse laughed back, “Told ya!”
“Wooow…” I said, slurring a bit. “Why doesn’t everyone do this stuff?”
Cass put her finger to her lips, “Shhh, it’s a secret!”
I said, “You were right, Jesse. It’s even better than candy!” I held my arms out and spun around, testing the weird gravity.
He walked over to me, “Hold out your hand.”
“Huh?” I obeyed.
He gave me a whole fistful of the stuff.
My eyes lit up, “Wow! Really??”
He replied, “Yeah! You seem like you could use it.”
“Aw, thank you Jesse!” I snuggled his chest with my head.
He laughed, “Hope it helps!”
I put the Zaza in my bag, next to the candy.
Cass said, “Shall we head to those pink plants??”
I said, “Wait! I have two other friends coming. They’ll be here at 6:00!”
“Let’s just chill for now then,” she replied.
I took another hit of the Zaza, coughing a bit, “I hate humans.”
They all looked at me kind of concerned.
Axel corrected me, “It’s not humans, it’s conformity.”
My eyes were drawn in, “What do you mean?”
He explained, “You probably got bullied. It’s because you don’t follow their rules. Your ways offend them. We aren’t so different. Look at us. Our style seems unique compared to the rest, right?”
My voice was soft, “Yeah…”
He continued, “Those of us without a tribe, we get a special privilege. We aren’t bound by their laws. Those in the tribe get chastised if they are to break a rule. So do we, of course, but it’s not the same.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“For them, being chastised means losing everything. Their friends will abandon them. That’s why they are loyal to the law. They are slaves. For us, sure, we are punished too, but we don’t lose anything. That’s because we didn’t have anything in the first place. Therefore, we aren’t as invested. That gives us freedom.”
“Freedom…”
“When you leave behind conformist culture, you are free but also it can be lonely. That’s why we stick together. We are the Rebellion after all.”
“So, that’s why you oppose the rules? Because you get mad when you are punished and there’s nothing to keep you obedient to their rules? So, you fight and resist, you rebel? To make sure it’s fair?” I asked.
He looked perplexed, “Hmm… that’s not quite what I meant, but… I suppose that is also true. I haven’t thought about it that way.”
My energy climbed, “They’re resisting our rules! This is war! I want to fight back!”
Jesse intervened, “Hey! We don’t need violence. We need peace. People should learn to accept each other’s differences.”
“But… how do we know who’s right??” I asked.
Then, Rei arrived, “Hey! Lily! Over here!”
“Oh! Rei! You made it!” I turned to the others, “Only waiting on one more now!”
As I said that, Nita came from the other direction. “Lily! Who are all these people?? You are so popular!”
Everyone introduced themselves to one another and then we headed out. I led the way to the edge of the city, to the land of pink plants: Iniko.
The city was ominous at night. Those eerie auras returned, seemingly patrolling the city. Luckily, the Rebellion was used to this. They knew their way around.
The night had a beautiful vibe. Purple, blue, orange, yellow, and of course black. Neon lights and colors spread and mixed, surrounding the shadows. There was a sense of freedom without all the people around, but those nasty Aeons seemed to prowl in the dark, on the hunt. Occasionally, we spotted them with our eyes. These ones looked far more alien. Strange fashions, hats, machine bodies, and blinking lights covered their forms. Each with their own unique taste.
Cass asked, “What’s next, Mr. Strategist?”
“Let’s cross the street now. On the other side, we go down that alleyway,” Axel pointed directly ahead.
I said, “I can sense those freaks. We’re safe to move now.”
“The patrols? But how?” Axel asked.
“That’s my secret,” I smiled, teasing.
He replied suspicious, “All these secrets, huh? I’m starting to suspect you’re an alien.” He laughed.
He seemed to be joking but it made me nervous. None of them could find out. I shouldn’t have even spoken.
After passing the alleyway, we were finally at the edge of the forest.
Nita said, “These plants aren’t pink.”
“We have to go inside. Trust me.”
We entered Iniko. The place was chilling, especially in the night like this. For the first while, the plants were just green, with an occasional spotting of blood red. Moving deeper, the plants diversified. Some almost looked like buildings. I convinced myself this was only an illusion of the night. Pink lights glittered the distance and fog swirled around us the further we went.
Whispers called, “Lily!”
I turned to the Rebellion, “Huh?”
“That wasn’t me,” Cass said.
“Not me!” Jesse exclaimed.
Axel commented, “This is far stranger than I expected. I don’t think this is an ordinary forest.”
Nita hugged my arm.
I pointed, “Look! The pink plants!”
I looked around. Everyone was gone.
“Hey?!” I shouted.
Voices surrounded me:
“Lily, come. We’ve returned.”
“We’ve missed you.”
“I’m sorry for how things turned out.”
I spun around, looking for the source, then it was found. My parents both stood, beneath the haunted canopy of pink.
“Mom?! Dad?! What the fuck is going on?!” After the shock, I said, “Where’ve you been?! I missed you!”
My mom said, “We’ve failed you. Your father was right.”
I grew pissed, “Yeah. In a way you did. Do you get it now?”
My father responded, “Lily, we did the best we could. Still, it didn’t turn out the way we wanted.”
I stomped my foot, “It’s not about what you want anymore! You were selfish! Now I have nothing!”
My mother gave a pained response, “They would have killed you-“
I stopped her, “I know. I see now. But I may as well be dead. I’ve never really lived. Now, I’m stuck in this world that I don’t get. Every step I take, it’s like a minefield. I don’t know what’s beneath the surface, and these wolves are ready to pounce. To punish me for my sins. I think it was both of you. You were the wolves!!”
My father got stern with me, “Lily! There was no other way, and you know it!”
I pulled out Zaza, put the stick between my lips and lit it up. “There was no other way, and now you’re both dead. If I lose my innocence, it’s because of what you did to me.”
As I took in the magic smoke, their bodies flickered in and out, until they were totally gone. Frantically, I rushed over and reached out, grasping at empty space, “No!! I’m sorry!! Come back! I wasn’t finished! Please!”
On my knees, I slammed my fists on the ground. “Damn it!”
I wanted to show them my pain, but I didn’t want it to end like this! “It’s not fair!!” Tears moved down my cheeks. The rage wasn’t worth it. I wiped away the tears and got back up. I had to be strong. I sucked in more Zaza and soon the pain faded.
I turned around and it was Rei, hypnotized, looking through the forest like a zombie. I waved my hand in front of his face. No reaction. I turned to the left and saw the Rebellion, scattered all around, standing, aimlessly gazing beyond reality. I was the only one left free of the influence.
I had an idea. I placed my Zaza stick in Rei’s mouth and then watched the magic happen. With each breath, puffs emerged from his lungs. Then, his body reanimated.
He looked at me, “Huh?”
“There’s something about the forest.”
“What’s this?” He pulled the Zaza from his mouth.
I explained, “That’s Zaza. It’s magic stuff that makes you feel good. Somehow, it brought me out of my trance.”
He seemed distracted, “I see. This place is cool.”
“Let’s wake up the others. Maybe we should leave.” I started heading for the others.
He grabbed my arm, “Wait!”
“What?”
“Can we just chill for a minute? It’s kind of nice like this. Just us two, you know?”
Nervously, I replied, “I guess we could. Aren’t you scared?”
He gave a charming smile, “A little, but that makes it more fun. So, this stuff is Zaza?”
“Yeah.”
“It feels really good. I think it makes you look nicer too.”
I blushed and broke away eye contact, “You think so?”
“Totally.” He grabbed my hands.
My heart fluttered and tingled. “Huh?”
“We should do it, before the others come around.”
“Do it?”
He grabbed my waist and pulled me in. His face dove into mine and we locked lips. I’ve only seen this on television once but never understood it. At first, it scared me. The weird sensations in my body intensified. My blood flowed harder. It was warm.
I resisted at first, but then I got curious and tried it out. My urges drove me to pull on his jacket and bite his lips.
It forced him back. “Ow!” Then he smiled and pushed me against a tree, pinning my arms. I was restrained. Out of control. It felt really good but also really scary.
One of his hands moved towards my chest and he squeezed. “You’re so hot.” His other hand moved lower, under my skirt.
I said, “No. I don’t like this now. Let’s stop.”
“Just a little more. It’ll be okay.”
“No!”
He kept going.
Both fear and euphoria rushed through me.
Behind him, something massive rose up. My vision vibrated and odd shapes checkered all over. It was a beast. Its skin was like bark: folded, wrinkly, and tough. Long pieces protruded from its back. Glowing red eyes chaotically sprouted all over its face.
I muttered, looking at the thing, “Uhh.” Then, I ran away from Rei and watched.
With one of its creepy long arms, it grabbed Rei and then lowered its mouth to feed on him. Rei screamed all the while.
I’m not sure why, but I didn’t protest. Then, I realized I hated Rei. He was hurting me. He betrayed me. He acted like my friend but then he didn’t listen. He was selfish.
After Rei was gone, the beast stared at me.
I said, “You saved me.”
It stared. Then, it moved closer.
I backed up in fear. “Please, no!”
Strangely, it obeyed.
I said, “Sorry. I’m just scared.”
A low gargly sound came out of its mouth. Then it began heading away, into the forest.
I called out, “Wait!”
It turned back to me.
I yelled out, “I’ll come back again, I promise!”
It looked at me, then it moved its way back into the forest, disappearing into the fog.
The shivering started up. Then, the guilt. Quickly, I huffed more Zaza, pushing it away. It took a second, but it actually worked.
I woke the rest of them and said, “We have to leave now.”
Nita asked, “Where is Rei?”
I refused to look her in the eyes. She seemed to get it pretty fast.
She grabbed my shoulders and shook me, “Where is he?! What happened?! Lily?!”
I looked at the ground, “A creature ate him…”
She yelled at me, “Ate him?! What the hell!? That sounds like lies!”
I yelled back, “It’s not! Rei is gone now!”
Everyone else just looked at me stunned.
Axel kneeled down with his fingers in a puddle, “The forest is pink… because of blood.”
I insisted, “We have to go, now!”
Silently and awkwardly, we made our way back to the city. All of us were too shaken by the experience to say anything. We parted ways just as awkwardly.
Nita walked off without saying anything.
I desperately cried out to her, “Nita! I’m sorry! I didn’t know this would happen!”
“Just leave me alone!” she yelled, running away.
Jesse put his hand on my shoulder, “Hey, just give her some time. I think we all need it after that.”
Cass, Axel, and Jesse walked off, giving apathetic smiles as they left.
As I headed back to the apartment, I felt stalked again. I made it up the stairs and all the way to the door. But I couldn’t get myself to open it. I sat there, my hand on the knob, unsure how I’d confront Kaos about this.
I was the wolf.
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